Oh! It’s Fear, my old Friend

June 28, 2019 § Leave a comment

Realizing… recognizing… remembering… oh THIS is what it’s like to feel scared.

I’m f*cking terrified of change.  The great big looming change which I feel is coming.  I’m terrified of the changes to come.

The scariest part is… it’s ME who has to change.  It’s me who IS changing.  No getting around it.

My desires are growing wings and I’m sitting on earth watching them soar and feeling… terrified.

They say Awareness is the first step.

Like most of the time we dissociate and we may be feeling scared, really f*cking scared, but instead we are drinking a beer, or smoking a joint, or scrolling through tinder, or eating pints of ice cream… the fancy term for it is dissociation.  It’s a common side effect of trauma.  And we are all traumatized by the anti-human system in which we are existing.

The whole Debt Economy is a sham.  Our cultural obsession with physical “beauty” is ridiculous.  Our careers are stalled.  Our time is negotiated and re-negotiated between chores, necessary tasks, day-to-day stuff, and scrolling through Facebook.

We are living in an apocalyptic world that has its head in the sand.

Our gods are – Technology, Adrenaline, and Dopamine.

We are aging out of the program.

And we are feeling confined.  Many many many many of us ARE confined, physically confined, trapped by the system.

So yeah… hey!  Hello, Fear!  I’ve met you before many times.  And now that I realize it’s been you all along I just want to say…  have at it, bih!

I’m down to sit and have tea with you all day, Fear, if that’s what it takes.  I’ll be your ear, your shoulder to cry on.

I will listen to you, Fear.  But don’t expect me to agree.

Because I KNOW in my bones that more and more of us are awakening from the spiderweb slumber.  We are slowly blinking ourselves awake.

Fear, you can have your spotlight for now.  But I love a chance to shine as well… and my turn is coming.

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